Impossibile

Impossible... What is that? It doesn`t exist in my vocabulary or I guess not in my mind either. I don`t think that I have realised my behavior truly before someone really made me understand it.

A few years ago in Beijing airport I was stucked in the check in with my huge luggage. I wanted to go to the lounge already, but it was impossible to check in that early. Not possible for me!!! After some talks I found myself making the check in upstairs in KLM/ Air France office. Later, I was happily in the lounge sipping champagne and reading Helsingin Sanomat with my 45 kg luggage next to me. ;o) So, if you really can take your luggage until the gate after 911, I would say that everything is possible... (Great memory!)

Pisces: Their natures tend to be too otherworldly for the practical purposes of living in this world as it is. They sometimes exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually (depending on how they are aspected). They long to be recognized as greatly creative. They also dislike disciple and confinement. The nine-to-five life is not for them. Any rebellion they make against convention is personal, however, as they often times do not have the energy or motivation to battle against the Establishment.
Pisceans tend to withdraw into a dream world where their qualities can bring mental satisfaction and sometimes, fame and financial reward for they are extremely gifted artistically.

I have always thought that the sky is the limit. Why in earth should I get a headache with thinking how to arrange some things. They will always get solved somehow...

The same was with me moving to Italy to study. How could I??? I am way too old and I didn`t have the money. How could I finance the school and support myself living here more than a year without doing any jobs. Like you now, it happened...

Everytime I have been thinking where to find a job, it just has arrived. Things do happen, why should I analyse that much. Me and analysing just don`t sit in the same sentence. If I now think, about the world economy and me graduating after one week, that I will not find a job in this city, it would be the end of all. Not possible for me!!!

The schedule for our final exams is crazy. So much work to do... I really work 16 hours a day to get everything ready in time and I truly want to graduate with the best possible grades. That`s why I found myself going to bed (again) this morning at 7 AM. That can`t be normal... ;o)

So I guess my horoscope of me is completely true. Funny!

"Success is determined by those whom prove the impossible, possible." (Baby, nothing is impossible!!! You know that better than anybody!!!)

Amore

Even after all this time

The sun never says to the earth, " You owe me."

Look what happens with a Love like that!

-It lights the whole Sky.

(Hafiz)

Valentine`s day is coming so remembering your loved ones is even more important. I don`t know if it is living away from home or just the stress of school or certain Mr M, but I am ever thankful for my amazing friends around the world and for my parents... I am just so happy that YOU are there for me and I will always be there for you. I love you all. ;o)

Minä rakastan sinua.

I love you.

Ik hou van jou.

Se agapo.

Ti amo.

Jag älskar dig.

Je t `aime. Je t `adore.

Ich liebe dich.

This is from Wikipedia:

"Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction. The word love is both a verb and a noun. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.
As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts."

L`ultima settimana di scuola

I just finished my last official week of school, next week there is only one back up lesson of patternmaking and then preparing for all the final exams. I can`t believe how fast time flies here. I moved to Milan about 10 months ago.

What a last week indeed!!! I have been like a sleepwalker 24/7. On Tuesday I slept in for 8 hours (you heard me, 8 hours) missing all the classes for the entire day. On Wednesday morning on my way to school, thing that I have been worried of happened, I passed my metrostop in San Babila. I was in such a coma that I got out at Palestra and returned one stop. Hahahaaa... How funny is that? ;o) I feel that I live in my own little bubble. I don`t see anybody or hear anybody around me. I drop things and I can`t remember anything, I have yellow post-its everywhere... which I don`t see. (I just woke up from 3 hour nap at 9PM...)

Here is my sweetheart Daniela with her hotpants in our patternmaking class.

I don`t know if it is normal to sleep 2-4 hours for a night for months or start the morning with painkillers (for my shoulders) and double espressos. Maybe... I have no appetite in the mornings which is scary, cause I used to live for breakfasts. If I eat something during the day, it is piadine* with prosciutto crudo and maybe later some nutella-toasts & espresso. Every single time I eat piadine I think about my dear gay boyfriend who says that: "There is way too many calories in them. Are you crazy to eat them amore???" ;o)

11 more days to go and after that I will get my life back. Hopefully!!!! I want to sleep, sleep and sleep...and finally continue running in the mornings. I loved it! And of course meet my friends for dinners and really start visiting all the cool clubs and bars in Milan. Can`t wait for that!

This Finnish dry bread I love!

I heard two shocking secrets today. My good friend is pregnant and I am extremely happy for her. But the other one was a friend divorcing... they just go married, what is going on with the world??? I just can`t stop thinking of that... and the fact that my friend will return home to Israel where the war is starting again... just gives me goose bumps.

---

*Piadine are unleavened Italian flatbreads traditionally cooked over hot coals on an earthenware plate called a testo. Once cooked, piadine should be eaten piping hot, folded in two or cut into four or else rolled up. In Italy, piadine are often eaten with fresh Italian cheeses such as crescenza or stracchino, cured meats like prosciutto di Parma or salami, sautéed greens, fruits, jams, and even Nutella.

La lettera a te amore

I love you enough to fight for you,
compromise for you, and
Sacrifice myself for you if need be.
Enough to miss you incredibly when we’re apart,
no matter what the length of time it’s
for and regardless of the distance.
Enough to believe in our relationship,
to stand by it through the worst of times,
to have faith in our strength as a couple,
and to never give up on us.
Enough to spend the rest of my life,
be there for you when you need or want me,
and never, ever want to leave you or live without you.
I love you this much.

(Unknown)

...but I don`t know anymore, it is just too hard. You are right love, even though I don`t ask that much (...all I want is your heart...) I do deserve better. I deserve a man to whom I am the world, to whom I am number one priority in life. Whose heart would break if he would see a tear in my face, if not a tear from joy..

All I can think is that how dumb can I be by letting you make me feel like this? Why didn`t I listen to the people around me. Why did I listen to my heart and went for it...again? But you know love, at the end you will loose more, you loose me.

For now what ever happens, thank you for all the memories, I will cherish them in my heart for ever. And thank you for making me stronger in a way. At the moment my heart is so fragile, if you would just know. My mask has become pretty good during these years with you... You know that despite all my heart is still pure gold and we will only wait and see if you really are the man to own it for ever...

Ps. I will always love you! You are the love of my life. I just don`t know anymore... If you plan to continue like this could I at least get my heart back???

---

The top three pictures are taken by my friend Dorit Salutskij and the boy is her adorable Milo. Thank you for letting me use them. The poem and last picture are from the internet.

Arrivederci amore?

Beyonce- If I Were A Boy

---

If I were a boy even just for a day

I'd roll out of bed in the morning

And throw on what I wanted

And go Drink beer with the guys

---

And chase after girls

I'd kick it with who I wanted

And I'd never get confronted for it

Cause they stick up for me

---

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

---

I'd listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

---

If I were a boy

I would turn off my phone

Tell everyone it's broken

So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

---

I’d put myself first

And make the rules as I go

Cause I know that she’ll be faithful

Waiting for me to come home, to come home.

---

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

---

I'd listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause he's taking you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

---

It's a little too late for you to come back

Say it's just a mistake

Think i'd forgive you like that

If you thought I would wait for you

You thought wrong

---

But you're just a boy

You don't understand

And you don't understand, ohhhh

How it feels to love a girl

Someday you wish you were a better man

---

You don't listen to her

You don't care how it hurts

Until you lose the one you wanted

Cause you're taking her for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

---

---

I love this song, though it always makes me so sad...

The video is here.